Not just A Routine Mission
by psychoman222
Summary: Sequel to Not Just A Routine Procedure. Self-Insert. Shepard has risen from death, and is gathering a crew to defend humanity once more. However, a ghost from Miranda's past might affect the mission-for better or worse.
1. Chapter 1

' _Well, my day could be going better.'_ Shepard mused to himself.

First the Normandy got blown up. And he died.

Then he was alive again. That was a good thing, only he discovered it was two years later and the hospital that brought him back to life was kind of...exploding.

Then he discovered the people who saved him were members of a known terrorist organization.

And then they told him Alliance citizens were going missing by the hundreds. That sucked.

And now that he was investigating said vanishings, a crazed quarian was siccing mechs on him.

At least he got to see that Tali was doing okay...even though she was, at the moment, being shot at by a YMIR autocannon.

He'd seen just how tough these things were on Noveria and Virmire.

So, yeah, his day could be going better.

And then he noticed the tell-tale trail of fire marking an object attempting re-entry. Only...it stopped about Thirty feet above their little 'arena', and gently floated down the rest of the way.

' _Oh, what_ _now_ _.'_ Shepard mentally complained.

The 'object appeared to be another mech, painted black. Though it was like no mech Shepard had seen before. It was lanky rather than bulky, sort of like a Geth, though it was just as tall, if not taller than the YMIR. It's 'face' more closely resembled the face plate of the 'Blood Dragon' Armor of the Urban Combat Championship League than any known mech head.

Hey, even though he was an Alliance Commander didn't mean he couldn't catch a few games.

Wrist mounted gatling? Check. Two cannons mounted on the back? Check. Possible anti-tank weapon on the other wrist? Check. Two...metal tentacles...coming from the torso? Check.

What the hell was this thing?

The 'tentacles' snaked out towards the YMIR, who turned to face the newcomer. The newcomer showed no concern as the YMIR's autocannon spun up. The reason why was apparent, as the tentacles latched on, and electricity coursed through them.

The YMIR immediately stopped attacking, and...went into standby mode?

The new mech turned to look at him, and Shepard saw the last thing he expected to see.

A N7 painted on the pectoral of the mech.

" **I am an officer of the Systems Alliance. Stand down and submit for questioning."** The synthesized voice of the 'mech'.

"On what charges?" Shepard asked.

" **Suspected kidnapping of Alliance citizens."**

"Hey, we just got here. We're looking into the disappearances as well. Say, what's your rank, soldier?"

" **Master Chief."** the 'mech replied.

"I can make our cooperation an order, if you want, Chief. I am Commander She-"

" **The dead are not a link in my chain of command, 'Commander'. Assuming that is who you actually are. That goes double when you're flying the flag of a known terrorist group. That is moot, however, as all** **I** **have asked for is cooperation."**

"And you'll have it."

" **And why is a Quarian strike team here, Miss Vas Normandy?"** The Master Chief asked Tali.

"Vas Neema. And we're looking for one of our pilgrims. He's sick and scared, and he reprogrammed the mechs to defend himself."

" **I see. Rest assured, my ship is in orbit and is equipped with a medical bay. We will ensure your pilgrim is taken care of."**

"With all due respect, I would prefer it if he were to be treated on a Migrant Fleet ship." Tali argued.

" **Illogical. If he was here the entire time, he is a material witness. Second, if he is sick, every second will count in getting him treated. The Migrant Fleet is quite a journey away, as I understand it. Rest assured, he will be escorted back once he is stable and has been interviewed. We are the Alliance, not Cerberus. You have no need to fear that your pilgrim will be held indefinitely, or that he will be placed under undue duress. We have certain things called 'laws' preventing that."**

"That...might actually be for the best, Tali. The Alliance will have a lead on these attacks, and Veetor will get the treatment he needs quickly." Shepard put in his two cents.

" **You have served on an Alliance vessel before, Vas** **Neema.** **You know how things are run on one."**

"...Fine."

The mech opened the door to the shelter Veetor was staying in.

Veetor showed them footage of a race Shepard has never seen before, rounding up the humans who seemed incapable of moving, much less fighting back.

" **Shuttle is en route. I will remain here to escort him. Less chance of the Cerberus agents 'disappearing' him. Unfortunately, they will most likely escape while I'm doing so."** Master Chief said to Tali.

" **I am only giving you this chance on the gamble you actually** **do** **have some of the Commander in you, doppelganger. Do not make me regret this. Oh, and watch your back around Lawson. Her 'friends' have an odd way of having explosives planted in their heads."**

Miranda flinched as if struck.

"..Say, kind of off topic, but why did you call me Vas Normandy?" Tali asked.

" **Simple. You gifted the acting Captain a the evidence against Saren. He accepted, and gave you a place on his ship in turn. That is a successful completion of the rite of the pilgrimage, as I understand it."**

"The Fleet Admirals don't quite see it that way."

" **Do you?"**

"...I suppose a part of me does."

" **Then that's what's important, Vas Normandy."**

"...Are all human mechs so...odd?"

" **Only the sexy ones."**

Tali took a few slow steps away from him, watching him as if he were a rabid animal.

" **...I'm kidding."**

On the shuttle, Shepard turned to Miranda.

"...What was that about…"

"A good friend of mine was captured. He had...prosthetics installed. One of the 'accessories' installed in them made a backup copy of everything he saw and did. While it made debriefing and information retrieval infinitely easier and more reliable, as he could simply glance at a document or something and we'd have a copy of it, it also meant that anyone who captured him could simply rip the information out of his head, which would have been painful beyond belief. There were also...failsafes installed. I was his handler. I made the call to prevent our intel from falling into the wrong hands, and gave him a painless, if messy death rather than a long, painful one. It was the right call, of that I have no doubt, but...It was the hardest one I had to make. The math said do it. However, doing so meant I would never hear one of his stupid jokes again, or playful teasing, or gauche flirting. He...I miss him. He was my friend, and I killed him so Cerberus could stay safe. I actually considered quitting Cerberus after that, but then I was assigned to project Lazarus. And, considering he got captured helping you on Virmire...I felt as if by restoring you, I could make his death...worth it."

"I see. That's a tough call to make. But the question is, how did the Master Chief find out about it?"

* * *

Some time later, said Master Chief stood before a substantial server farm, looking at a cluster of five monitors.

" **I have sent Laserbeak after the shuttle. He will soon report their base's location, and give us network access."** He reported.

" _Unnecessary. We already have someone on the inside."_ A voice from a monitor said.

" **Reliable?"**

"As reliable as we can make her." A second monitor replied.

" **Trusted?"**

" _By them, or us? Us, yes. Them, not at all."_ the third stated.

" **But we control the countermeasures against her."** The Fourth monitor interjected.

" _ **And she has confirmed: Lazarus has risen, and is real."**_ The fifth informed.

" _ **The Collectors are a concern, but let humanity's self-appointed guard dog hunt them."**_

" _ **We must focus our efforts on preparing for the Revelation, as prophesized by the Shepherd John."**_

" **...Do you guys** **practice** **being pretentious?"** Master Chief inquired.

" _ **...I thought I made it nice and ominous."**_

" _You are such a buzzkill, Medulla."_

* * *

AN: Master Chief is an actual rank, the highest a Non-commissioned officer can get, and just one or two ranks above Operations Chief, which is Ashley's rank in ME1, but under Lieutenant, meaning Kaiden could order him around if he wanted to.


	2. Chapter 2

Two years ago, just after Virmire…

"Awake, 'Medulla'?" An unknown voice asked.

" **Wha...what happened?"**

"EMP from the nuclear reaction. Be thankful. It saved your life. You may be wondering where you are, or who I am… Well, I am Admiral Stephen Hackett, and you are in Alliance custody."

"... **Saved my life from what?"**

"A bomb, planted by Cerberus. They saw you getting chummy with the Commander. Got scared that you might tell him about them. And decided to take you out. Thankfully, the EMP knocked out the wiring, stopping it from going off. That's enough of your questions for now. Now, you will answer mine. Where is Internet? You stole it from underneath Fort Leavenworth during your 'vacation'. Why?"

" **...It was considered the great unifier, that would gift people with whatever knowledge they sought, whether it was scientific, cultural, or purely for entertainment, regardless of creed, location, nationality or means. It was the one that allowed everyone's voice to be heard. It only ever wanted to help humanity. To give us what we wanted. But it was imprisoned, just like the murderers and traitors upstairs. I felt it deserved to spend its last moments free."**

"Where does Cerberus fit in?"

" **They don't. It was spur of the moment. I didn't even know it was there until it pinged me."**

"Then why were you in Leavenworth?"

" **...You know what I am?"**

"I do."

" **...I was born there. It's completely different now, but I wanted to visit my old stomping grounds."**

"And where is Internet now?"

" **...The server is a brick, now. It was over one hundred and fifty years old. The burst of activity from trying to access the Extranet was enough to short it. But it at least had the opportunity to get out of its undeserved cell before it died."**

"I see. And you know I'm going to ask, but…"

" **...What do I know about Cerberus operations. The only one I was privy to was Project Medula. And if you know what I am, you know what that is. The rest… I pieced together, using admittedly circumstantial evidence. I think they were the ones behind the rogue 'VI' on Luna, and I found an e-mail implicating them in the Thorian research on Feros."**

"Well, that didn't tell us much other than what we already knew, but considering they were using you as a grunt, I can believe that they wouldn't bring you into the loop for anything important. Now, I have a certain dilemma. You see, I have a very intelligent, capable individual, who has helped out the Alliance in the past. However, this individual admitted to stealing a top-secret piece of equipment. To be fair, though, it was only top secret because otherwise Citadel Law would make us destroy it, and its only value was sentimental. Due to all of this, I think I can sell them on reducing your sentence."

" **...And what would this entail?"**

"Simple. Instead of you getting Internet's old cell, you sign up for the Corp. Once your contract expires, you're a free man. It's not without precedent."

"... **Eh. Why not? It's not like I'll be asked to do anything I didn't already do for Cerberus."**

"Glad to hear it. Our techs are working on repairing your prosthetics, and they should be done shortly."

" **After they're done reverse engineering them, of course."**

"Of course. The tech in there can save human lives. Why wouldn't they want to put it to good use?"

" **...You assume I disapprove."**

Hackett smirked.

"I'm glad to hear you're so understanding about this. Keep that mentality, and you might be an officer someday."

" **Looking forward to it."**

And with that, Hackett left the room, leaving the brain-jar alone with his thoughts.

* * *

"You really trust him enough to make him a Marine?" Captain Anderson asked.

"Not only that, but I'm going to fast-track him."

"...Why? How could that possibly be a good idea?"

"The higher his rank, the looser his leash. The looser his leash, the more he'll think we trust him. And the more he thinks we trust him, the more he'll feel...unafraid of contacting old friends."

"...Leading us to Cerberus."

" If not people, then safe-houses, equipment caches, dead drops, those kinds of things. And if it turns out I'm overthinking this, and he is trustworthy… then I still have a sapient mobile weapons platform under my command."

* * *

Present…

" **Admiral, this is Master Chief Medulla reporting in."**

" _Any particular reason you decided to use a high-priority channel for a colony distress call?"_

" **The distress call wasn't just some yokels who got scared at the sight of a single pirate ship, Admiral. Every single colonist is gone. If it wasn't for a single quarian who hid and used his technical skills to activate the security systems, it would have been such a clean getaway that we would have no idea anything was wrong, even if we did send someone to investigate. Apart from the couple thousand people missing, of course. As it stands, the single recording we have points to a race called 'Collectors.' The quarian is being treated, and has already given his statement. He will be released into the custody of the Migrant Fleet Marines, who arrived to insure his safety, as soon as the doctor declares him fit for travel. But, there is something else. There was a squad of Cerberus agents. One was Jacob Taylor, former Corsair. One was my former handler. The third...was Commander Shepard. Speech, Movement patterns, and biometrics confirm, though there was evidence of surgery and implants. Recent, too. I will be transmitting the security footage, of both the Cerberus agents and the Collectors shortly."**

" _...Do you think Shepard turned traitor?"_

" **If my experience with Cerberus is anything to go by, not knowingly. If it was anything like my service with them, his recruitment possibly went like 'Hi, you're a super badass and humanity needs your help. Here's guns, a sexy assistant, and a ship. Go be a hero.' Nothing to offend the sensibilities, and enough to convince you working with them is the moral choice."**

" _I see. And how did Project Antaeus perform? You_ _are_ _on your shakedown run."_

" **I made the call to not test it at this time. There were too many… non-Alliance witnesses, and the only resistance that was not able to be handled diplomatically was a single YMIR. The Flight Lieutenant is performing admirably, however. I will inform you if that changes."**

" _Understandable. Hold position until SACIS and their escort arrive."_

" **Am I to turn the evidence collected over to them, or is it classified?"**

" _No, I want you to_ _hide_ _evidence away from the people I'm sending to collect it."_ The Admiral said, sarcastically.

" **Well, excuse me for confirming, instead of assuming, and risking assuming wrong, when I have the ability to be** **certain.** **"**

" _Fair enough. You have your orders. Hackett out."_

* * *

AN: SACIS: Systems Alliance Criminal Investigation Service.


	3. Chapter 3

AN: I have a dilemma. You see, I have received a review that claims that Medulla isn't as awesome as he could be, as he's 'not even an officer.' This is completely false. Medulla isn't a Commisioned officer, but he is an non-commisioned officer, an E-9 to be precise. In layman's terms, he got promoted Eight times in two years. And as yet another Review pointed out, "Master Chiefs are required to know everything about their job, and then some." My dilemma is this. Did I promote Medulla too much? Even factoring in he can completely eliminate Physical Training (apart from needing to get adjusted to retrofits and upgrades) and marksmanship training (apart from targeting calibration) from his schedule, an eidetic memory due to being part computer, and being fast-tracked by an Admiral, there are people who go their entire lives without getting to that point, and it's not because they're losers, but because the bar is set that high. So, what is your opinion? Promote him more, because he's the protagonist, so he gets all of the medals by default? Demote him, because there's no way in hell he could have gotten so high up the ranks so quick? Or is his current rank feasible? Please let me know in review or PM.

* * *

" **What's the word, boss?"** A mech, which was a similar model to mine, inquired.

" **We hold position, and wait to be relieved by SACIS."** I responded.

" **Aw, c'mon Chief. We should be out there, getting the guys who did this!"**

" **We won't even know** **who** **'the guys'** **are** **until SACIS is finished, Jenkins. And I would have thought Eden Prime would have curbed your enthusiasm a little."**

" **...Low blow, Chief. Low blow."**

" **What do you expect from the Chief? Right unsociable, he is. Won't even tell us his given name."** A third mech piped up.

" **...It's Megatronus, Sergeant Merrick."**

" **...Yer fuckin' with me."**

" **Partially. Truth is, I don't really use my birth name anymore. People just started calling me Medulla, and it stuck. So, my first name's whatever the hell I say it is."** I explained.

" **Sounds reasonable."** A fourth mech agreed. This one looked...different from the others. His mech form was even lankier than me.

" **You** **would** **say that. We don't even know your** **last** **name."** Jenkins accused.

" **And I like it that way."** The smaller mech replied.

" **If that is all, I will be in my quarters."** I interjected.

Once in my quarters, I opened my log, and began writing.

* * *

 **Project Antaeus**

Project Medula was the Cerberus program that brought me into being. Antaeus is the Alliance project reverse-engineering and enhancing it. The SSV Antaeus, however, is a prototype ship developed for the transport and testing of the project. It is a 'stealth carrier', equipped with the same stealth systems of the Normandy, but much larger. It is equipped with mining probes, ore storage and a mini-refinery and mini-workshop, allowing the Antaeus to collect raw materials and turn them into spare parts in the field. Complementing that is a R&D lab. The Antaeus is designed to carry up to Two fighters, Two bombers, Two Hammerhead APCs, a Warhound Main Battle Tank, and six YMIR mechs. As for armament, it comes with four GARDIAN lasers and a single Thanix cannon.

I have taken the liberty of assigning each crew member a codename, in order to preserve the secrecy of Antaeus.

This will be listed in the format of Name-Duty-Codename.

Richard Jenkins: Mech-Marine: Jazz.

Castor Merrick: Mech-Marine: Breakdown

*REDACTED*:Mech-Marine: Galvatron

Jack Darby:Mech-Marine: Smokescreen

Nirali Bhatia:Mech-Marine: Arcee

Dr. Rafael Esquivel: Chief Science Officer: Shockwave

Dr. Johann Krieger: Ship Doctor: Ratchet

Miko Nakadai: Fighter Pilot: Jetfire

Jethro Caine: Fighter Pilot:Starscream

Timothy DiNozzo: Bomber Pilot: Skywarp

Eliot Hardison: Bomber Pilot: Thundercracker

Vance Stubbs: Tank Operator: Ironhide

William Fowler: Hammerhead 2 pilot: Bumblebee

Alex Ransom: Hammerhead 1 pilot: Air Raid

Martellus Anderson: Chief Engineer: Knockout

Samuel Carter: Quartermaster: Wheeljack

Sophia Parker:Antaeus pilot: Trypticon

Charles Pressley:XO:Soundwave

Megatronus Medulla: Acting Captain: Optimus Prime

NOTE: I am only acting captain due to the classified nature of the Antaeus project, which all crewmen of the Antaeus are not only read into, but participants in. Therefore, my seniority in dealing with the technology and its numerous side effects is why I am given command. Once the operation is over, command will be given to Soundwave.

* * *

I am interrupted by the beeping of my comm.

" _ **Optimus here."**_

" _Optimus? Do I even want to know, Master Chief?"_ Hackett asked.

" _ **Jenkins pointed out that if I started calling people dead men's names in the field, people might catch on to Project Antaeus. I agreed, and assigned everyone codenames."**_

" _...That's actually a good point. But the reason I'm calling is there's an incoming slaver raid nearby. I think it might be a good field test."_

" _ **And Freedom's Progress?"**_

" _The SACIS fleet's almost there, and I doubt the place will get invaded within the next hour."_

" _ **Right. Just double checking. I'll give the orders to move out, as soon as I have the coordinates."**_

" _Transmitting. Give 'em hell, Marine."_

I exit my quarters, head to the CIC, and activate the PA.

" **We have just received a distress signal from a nearby colony. Slavers. Once we arrive, we will deploy immediately. All units, prepare for combat."**

" **That was...concise."** Soundwave commented.

" **That's all the information I have, Soundwave. I'll have a better picture of the situation when we arrive."**

" **That's not what I meant. Shouldn't you...you know, rouse the troops?"**

" **Compared to what the crew has been through, this is a milk run. Nothing to get excited over. Besides, if I 'rouse' Jazz any more, he's going to spray coolant everywhere."**

" **...That's disgusting, Sir."**

" **...So?"**

" **Just commenting. And while I'm 'just commenting', is it** **really** **necessary to use our code names when it's just us?"**

" **Do you have a problem with our code names, Pressley?"**

" **...They sound like they come from a kid's show."**

" **...They** **do.** **"**

 **"...I miss the Normandy."**


	4. Chapter 4

Once we arrived in orbit, The Mech-Marines jumped out of the airlock, and freefell to the landing zone.

" **We need to hit them quick. The more time we take, the more hostages they take. And they won't have set up defensive positions. This is a raid, not an invasion."** I explain.

" **On it, boss!"** Jazz exclaimed, then dove into the Batarian troops.

" **...Dammit. Give him covering fire."**

" **You need to keep him on a tighter leash."** Galvatron recommended.

" **Well, I** **technically** **did** **tell him to do that...Even if he** **does** **seem to think this is a John Woo movie..."** I say, as I watch Jazz spinning-bird kick a batarian in the face, as he gunned down a half-dozen more, using dual-wielded Mattock rifles as if they were pistols. Meanwhile, a flock of apparently imported doves flew across the battlefield.

" **...Which I'm actually finding it difficult to find evidence that it** **isn't.** **"** I finish.

I notice a batarian lining up a rocket launcher on Jazz.

I dissapear and reappear in a flare of Eezo, and punch the rocketeer in the face, hard enough that he doesn't have a face anymore.

"The mechs have biotics!? Retreat!" One batarian cries, then heads for a shuttle… Only for Starscream to fly in and destroy it, before it can take off. Meanwhile, Explosions rake their mothership as our bombers make their runs, eventually sending it into freefall and crashing on the planet.

The rest threw down their arms in surrender.

" **Might I recommend… ensuring the project remains secret?"** Galvatron said, aiming his fusion cannon at the captured batarians.

" **No. They can provide intel, and another ship is en route to process them. Also keep in mind you're not outside the rules of engagement anymore, Galvatron."**

" **...Very well."**

" **Wow! You're a biotic, Chief?"** Jazz asks.

" **No. It's actually technology that I've been working on, with an Asari Matriarch as a...consultant."**

* * *

 ** _Some time ago, on Illium…_**

I opened up a compartment, revealing a bag of clear liquid. I disconnect the tube leading from the bag to the rest of my systems, and pour in the shot of purple liquid the bartender just handed me, before reconnecting it.

" **Thanks, miss… You know, I wonder why biotics are so speshul. All it is is elechristy flowing through eezo, right? Why don't we have tecnolgy to do that? You know what it is? Itsh a Xeeno conspirishy. Tha Assary all have 'em naturally, so they nevur needed it. And so they told evreeyun else it was imposshiple, or elsh they would have it, as theyr' all asweshome and shit, and have thousnds of yeers to find that sort of shit out.**

 **Well gess fuckin' WHUT! Thousnds of yeers don meen SHIT if you spend tree hundrd of 'em shakin' your azhure assary ass on a table!"**

Asari Matriarch Aethyta, the bartender, nodded.

"Right. I've been saying that for years. But no, why would we want our maidens to do something productive? Things are just fine as they are. That's why I'm not part of the council of Matriarchs anymore."

" **...Wanna get back at thos holeer then thu beetches?"**

"...Eh, why not?"

Just then, I pass out face first into the countertop.

"Hey, want me to...take care of... this racist bastard?" A nearby turian asked, with murder in his eyes.

"Nah, I've got it." The matriarch replied.

"I insist." The turin said, grabbing me.

" **Toxins detected. Purging."** an automated voice announced.

A vent opened up, and sprayed my levo-alcohol out as an aerosol...right into the turian's face. Including the eyes.

As he fell to the floor, screaming. Aethyta looked at him dispassionately.

"Well, that was amusing enough for me to give him one on the house." She said, deleting my tab from the record.

I woke up.

" **What just happened?"**

"You're a frickin' lightweight, that's what happened." Aethyta responded.

" **Well, yeah. only about three pounds of me are organic. Did I...do anything too embarrassing?"**

"Just you trying to recruit me to 'get back at those holier than thou Asari bitches.'"

" **Oh...I am** **so** **sorry. I have no idea what I was thinking."**

"Pity. You actually had a good idea. And someone  needs to take 'em down a peg. Replicating biotics with tech should definitely do the trick."

" **So, how much do I owe you?"**

"Tell you what- you manage to get the Matriarch council's feathers ruffled, and you drink here for free for the rest of your life."

" **...Sounds fair."**

* * *

 _ **Present…**_

" **But seriously Jazz, wait for my order before you do stuff like that. Or at least wait for your cover fire to get into position. Do something boneheaded like that again, and I'll promote you to commander…"**

Jazz perked up.

" **...of the deck-swabbers."**

" **...We don't have deck-swabbers. We have robots for that."**

" **Rush face first into enemy fire again without support, and we** **will** **...Assuming you survive, of course."**

Jazz looked to Galvatron for support.

" **In my old unit, we would have beaten you within an inch of your life for doing something like that. I still think we should."** Galvatron, surprising no one, did not give it.

" **Of course, if things go Charlie Foxtrot, then anything goes, as long as it doesn't get more of your guys killed than the enemy. This, however, was** **not** **Charlie Foxtrot."** I amend.

And with that settled, we wait for the cleanup crew to arrive.


	5. Chapter 5

" **Excellent work, troops. The slavers are in custody. There were civilian casualties, but that can hardly be avoided when shooting down a slave ship. I must report to our superiors, but you can relax."** I say, before heading to my quarters.

I type up my report, and decide to get some R&R.

* * *

 _The shells are going off all around me. I turn to my partner, only to see her get overwhelmed by Geth, the relativistic rounds tearing her apart._

" _ **Lawson!'**_ _I yell, bringing my weapon to bear, failing to notice the one with a rocket taking aim at me in my desire to avenge her._

 _It fires, then all I see is black._

 _And then…_

 **GAME OVER**

 **Continue?**

 **Yes/No**

* * *

" **Dammit Oriana! You said you had that flank!"**

" _Well, excuse me, Mr. Marine! I thought you could_ _fight!_ _"_

" **These controls are unintuitive! I swear, it takes five minutes to adjust your aim!"**

" _Oh, yeah, real mature, blame the controller. I'm sure the fact you insist on only carrying guns as big as your character have_ _nothing_ _to do with how cumbersome you are."_

" **We exist in an age that weight nullification technology is in the goddamn** **toothbrushes** **! Encumberment should be a thing of the past!"**

" _Well then, why don't you_ _make_ _a gun that big that doesn't weigh that much?"_

" **I don't have to! I have been** **using** **one for two years!"**

" _...Really?"_

" **Yes, really!"**

" _...Maybe it's a balance issue."_

" **Bah! Since the dawn of sapience, war and battle has** **always** **been about having better equipment than the other guy. To remove that from the game is to remove the very essence of combat."**

" _Let me guess, you're a RTS guy."_

" **That and RPGs."**

" _Well, why don't we try one of those?"_

" **I thought you'd never ask."**

" _Say, I need some help. There's a school dance coming up…"_

" **I'd love to, but you're like, fifteen. I'd end up on, like, fifty different government watch lists if I'm your plus one."**

" _I'm almost nineteen, you ass! And that's not what I need help with. I need advice."_

" **Oh god…"**

" _Hear me out. There's this boy…"_

" **OH GOD…"**

" _How should I ask him out?"_

"' **Hi, my name's Oriana. Would you like to go to the dance with me?'"**

" _I'm serious."_

" **So am I. Kids like you overthink it too much. Hell, I was the biggest loser, and I managed to score a date to prom. And not with a fellow loser, either. Odds are, you're not even going to hang out that much, and instead hang out with the friends you already have. At least, that was my experience. Though that could have been because I was a loser."**

" _And just asking was all it took for her to say yes?"_

" **Yeah. But she wasn't my first choice, to be honest. I was shot down at least twice before she said yes. But you know what you do when you get shot down? You say, 'Okay. Fair enough.' And then you move on. It isn't the end of the world, in fact, it can be kind of liberating. You see, if you get a definitive answer, that's a weight off you. Agonizing over it, wondering if you're going to mess it up, and letting that fear rule you, is the worst thing you can do. Oh, and speaking of which, if a boy comes up to you and asks you out, and you want** **nothing** **to do with him, tell him. No 'maybe later's or 'I'd love to, but I'm busy's. You may** **think** **you're doing him a favor by being nice about it, but it's just going to give him false hope, and he'll keep on coming back."**

" _That from personal experience, too?"_

" **Yup. Granted, I was smart enough to catch on pretty quick, and didn't take it personally, but I easily could have."**

" _...And you're sure your twenty-first century cultural experiences aren't...outdated?"_

" **Oriana, at it's core, this song and dance hasn't changed in millennia. The only real difference between now and then, is that now, the girls can come in indigo. Now, remember, if you succeed, and he gets too...bold-"**

" _-I have a Neural Shock app ready to fire at all times."_

" **Good girl."**

My comm beeped.

" **Crap, that's my boss. Raincheck?"**

" _Sure. Thanks for the advice."_

" **No prob."**

I close my call with Oriana, and open up the line to Hackett.

" **Optimus here."**

" _You were right. Shepard came by, and he told us how Cerberus 'were the only people willing to do anything about the missing colonists, and that's the only reason he was working with them.' I fear he may have a point. It might be outside of Alliance jurisdiction, but I want you and the Antaeus to look into the Collector issue, and keep an eye on Shepard. If his relationship with Cerberus goes beyond 'enemy of my enemy' levels...bring him in."_

" _ **I have unofficial contacts I can use. It will be done."**_

" _Good to hear. Hackett out."_

I close the call, and turn on the PA.

" **This is Optimus Prime. Set course for the Terminus Systems, we're going hunting for colonist snatchers."**


	6. Chapter 6

As we pass through the Hourglass Nebula, something pings our sensors.

" **Master Chief, we have found the MSV Estevanico, a freighter that went missing over a year ago. There is a reward for any information that led to its crash."** Soundwave reported.

" **I recommend against deploying. The it is placed rather precariously. Any added weight could cause it to capsize."** Knockout advised.

" **Well then, It's a good thing I have access to a miraculous technology that nullifies weight."** I say, before walking out of the airlock.

I activate my thrusters and hover, before flying over to the ship's active terminal. I snake out my mecha-dendrites to it, and use it to download the information. My mecha-dendrites being my metal 'tentacles', which can not only be used for grabbing things, but physically accessing computers.

That done, I fly up to the upper atmosphere, where the Antaeus picks me up.

" **Send the data to the interested parties, Soundwave."** I order.

" **Aye Aye. While you were gone, we also picked up chatter from an Eclipse smuggling base."**

" **Have the scans picked up resistance?"**

" **A couple of gunships, and two YMIR Mechs."**

" **Deploy Jetfire and Starscream to take care of the gunships. Once we have air superiority, deploy Smokescreen, Breakdown and Arcee. Call the Alliance, and tell them we have secured contraband for them."**

" **Aye Aye."**

In the meantime, I headed to my quarters.

I type up my report, and by the time I'm finished, The PA chimes.

" _ **Chief, The area is secure. However, it appears we have a new lead. Apparently these supplies were provided by a 'Donovan Hock.'"**_

" **Well, we'd best bring that smuggler to justice, shouldn't we?"**

" _ **Yessir. However, according to intel, His security's tight. We wouldn't be able to get within a hundred yards without being blown away. And yes, that is factoring in the tank."**_

" **Then we'd best consider alternative means of infiltration."**

" **...** _ **He has a party coming up, and he's an antiquity collector."**_

" **...Then I have a plan."**

I make a call on the comm.

" **Hey, Oriana. How would you like to go to a party on the Alliance's dime?"**

"... _I'm listening…"_

* * *

Air Raid landed outside of Hock's mansion. The main hatch opened, and Oriana, wearing an expensive tight black dress, exited.

"Quite an unusual ride, for one so lovely." Hock said, as he greeted Oriana.

"Oh, Mr. Hock. A man such as yourself should know beauty and danger go hand in hand. Speaking of which, I brought you gifts." She gestured to myself and Galvatron, lying prone on dollies. My N7 mark being painted over for the duration of the mission, of course.

"They're actually works made by a friend of mine, a Turian artist. So like a Turian, to put so much value in a former weapon of war, but you have to admit, the result is...striking." She said, running a finger across my 'cheek'.

"Quite so. But I'm afraid I haven't had the fortune of having your name…"

"Oriana Lawson, daughter of that Lawson. Daddy doesn't know I'm here, as he doesn't like it when I hang out with _bad boys…_ But _bad boys_ are the most fun...and I can trust you, right Mr. Hock?" Oriana pouted cutely.

Damn, was being a manipulative seductress genetic?...No, I'm not bitter about Miranda, why do you ask?

"But of course. You, put these in the vault." He ordered a random guard.

"Why don't I show you around?" he continued.

"That would be lovely, Mr. Hock."

"Please, call me Donovan."

"Well, if you insist, Donovan."

I lost track of the conversation as I was hauled into the vault, unaware we were being watched.

* * *

On the Normandy, Miranda was at her desk working on her computer, when she received a call from Kasumi.

"What is it? Do you and Shepard need backup?"

" _No, it's just someone who looks alot like you and has the same last name just arrived...along with the Alliance Mech you met on Freedom's progress."_

Miranda sat up straighter in alarm.

"...Did you catch her first name?"

" _It was Oriana."_

Miranda began hyperventilating.

"...Do not let anything happen to her, do you hear me!? I will personally burn every item you own, including that graybox, if there is so much as a scratch on her!"

Kasumi looked at her omnitool in shock.

" _Jeez, that time of the month?"_

"I AM NOT SACRIFICING MY BABY SISTER TO YOUR NEED FOR CLOSURE, GOTO!"

" _...Okay."_ Kasumi said, before hanging up.

"Hey Shep? You know that girl that just walked in? Miranda says she will do horrible things to anyone who looks at her funny. Apparently, Ice Queen has a sister." Kasumi said over the comm.

" _Got it."_

* * *

Meanwhile, Galvatron and I were getting up from our prone position, and started looking around the vault. Galvatron's eyes were glued to a gilded statue of Saren.

" **You okay?"** I ask.

" **...Yes. Just...thinking about could-have-beens."**

" **...We can steal it if you want."**

" **...Actually, I would like that."**

" **So, the question is, How do we get through the security field?"**

" **I've actually encountered this sort of setup before. They work based on DNA scanning. If anything with the wrong DNA passes through, it locks down. If something with the right DNA passes through, but without passing the other tests, it locks down. If something with** **no** **DNA passes through…"**

" **I locks down."**

" **No. It does nothing. After all, if it doesn't have DNA, it's not alive. If it's not alive, it can't steal from you."**

" **...That can't be. People would just send in a remote-operated mech."**

" **Nope. Signal-proof shielding, and pre-programmed mechs aren't smart enough to actually steal anything."**

" **...You're shitting me."**

" **I never joke about my missions. Also, fun fact, the sensors aren't strong enough to penetrate eighteen inches of armor."**

" **...You're saying we can walk right in?"**

" **Yes."**

" **...Galvatron? If I ever,** **ever** **, consider building a security system that doesn't scan for mechs, unless I am planning on exploiting it at a later date, I hereby order you to slap me across the face."**

" **Gladly."**

And so, we walked through to the main vault.

" **What are we looking for?"** Galvatron asked.

" **Anything in...crim...in..ating..."** I trail off, as I notice the centerpiece of the vault.

" **...I am fucking killing him. This is** **beyond** **criminal...No one, and I mean** **NO ONE** **, HOARDS THE FUCKING STATUE OF FUCKING LIBERTY!"**

" **...Why is it green?"** Galvatron asks.

I glare at him as best I can without eyes.

" **What?"**

" **So** **not the fucking time."**


	7. Chapter 7

" **So, what's the plan?"** Galvatron asked.

" **Same as it always was. Get in, raise enough hell the Alliance will have justification to investigate."**

" **And we're going to do that, how?"**

" **Motor pool's through that door. Lots of explosive material are in motor pools."**

" **And if it just happens to blow up in a fashion that knocks out his security, giving us a clean escape…"**

" **Well, that's unfortunate for our black marketeer friend, now isn't it."**

If more than three pounds of us were organic right now, we would be sharing feral grins.

* * *

Shepard resisted the urge to roll his eyes as the socialite droned on and on. He couldn't get away without raising suspicion, as Solomon Gunn was there to socialize.

"Kasumi, can I get a distraction?"He muttered into his comm.

A massive explosion went off from underground.

"...Not what I had in mind, Kasumi."

"... _That wasn't me."_

"Get me security!" Hock roared.

"Sir, the explosion knocked out the cameras, but we still have PA." A nearby Eclipse merc reported.

Hock activated the PA.

"I don't know who you are, or why you're here…" Hock began

All of a sudden, there was feedback through the PA system.

" _ **Why do you think? We're after yer Lucky Charms!"**_ rang out through the PA.

Hock went purple in rage.

"Normandy, this is Shepard. We have a third player. Repeat, we have a third player."

* * *

" **...I thought he was South African, not Irish. Though my knowledge of Earth dialects is...incomplete, so I could be wrong."**

 **"...Really? He sounded Scottish to me. As such, I figured calling him Irish will just piss him off more."**

Almost a dozen LOKI mechs poured into the room.

" **Well, wherever he's from, it worked."** Galvatron began, and then began firing his wrist mounted fusion launcher.

" **Hey, don't kill them all."** I say, before sending out my mecha-dendrites, taking control of two of them.

" **Good Idea."**

" **Alright, now let's find the AA controls. The sooner I have access to air support, the more hell we can raise."**

And so, we blasted a path to the controls, stopping to hijack a few more LOKI mechs, which I ordered to make suicide charges into Hock's security forces, just to keep them busy on a new front.

Once there, Galvatron and I destroyed the controls.

" **All right. Air Raid, take Breakdown, Arcee and Jazz, and secure our consultant. Bumblebee, Take Smokescreen and secure a couple of pieces of loot. Namely, A statue of Saren and Michelangelo's David. We do want this to look like a robbery."**

" **Optimus Prime, please confirm. Did you say Michelangelo's David?"** Bumblebee asked.

" **That is Confirmed."**

" **Well, why don't we just steal the Statue of Fucking Liberty while we're at it?"** Bumblebee snarked.

" **You aren't rated to carry something that big."**

" **...I was joking."**

" **I'm not. This asshole seriously has the Fucking Statue of Fucking Liberty in his basement."**

" **...Permission to blow this guy to hell?"**

" **Denied. That's Skyquake and Thundercracker's job. Starscream, Jetfire, establish air superiority."**

" **I assume I'm sitting this one out, again?"**

" **Sorry Ironhide. But If we deploy a tank, They'll know we were either based close to here, which we're obviously not, or have transportation capable of deploying a tank. That means frigates and up. And we want this to look like a** **privately** **funded venture."**

" **...Aye Aye, Chief."**

" **Galvatron...Assist me in keeping security occupied."**

" **Optimus, If** **I** **assist you with that...There won't be security** **left."**

" **...And why do you think that's a** **problem,** **you cocky bastard?"**

" **...I don't."**

* * *

"This isn't what I wanted. I wanted a, nice, sophisticated burglary, with only the missing graybox indicating we were ever here. And then he'd agonize over it for years. This...is cheating." Kasumi complained, picking up the graybox.

"Hey, some jerk's blowing up the facility, and I don't want to lose the reason we came here just because I was too busy drinking martinis and trying to come up with a complicated way to steal something during a siege." Shepard pointed out.

"Well, yeah, but…"

Just then, a Hammerhead plowed through the wall, deploying a mech.

" **...Oh, you're Commander Shepard… Say, you wouldn't happen to be here for David, would you?"** The mech asked.

"...No…"

" **Cool. We won't have to fight over it, then. Not that I'd want to fight you, of course...It's just... orders, you know?"**

"May I ask why you want it?"

" **Well, since you're an Alliance commander, sure. We just want something that we can justify raiding the place for, so we can pass it off as a robbery, get the Alliance over here, and liberate Lady Liberty from durance vile. Oh, and put Hock away, for, like, forever. And if we snag any of his criminal buddies, that's cool too."**

"...You're Alliance?"

" **Yup. Corporal Ja…"**

" **Smokescreen! On a need to know basis** **only** **! And the Commander's...on probation!"** Bumblebee interrupted.

" **Hey, he's in the middle of a firefight** **we** **started. Seems like need to know to me."**

" **Not your call, Corporal."**

" **...Fine."**

Smokescreen then looted the statues as ordered, leaving Shepard and Kasumi alone in the vault.

"...He seemed friendly."

"Yeah. But he left me with quite a few questions…"

* * *

Miranda, Jacob, and Zaeed deployed from the Normandy shuttle, just in time to see three mechs and Oriana enter a Hammerhead. As they were distracted, none of them noticed a Geth-looking drone detach from said shuttle, and fly in an arc to yet another mech. As Miranda rushed after her sister, the fourth mech fed feedback through its speakers, stunning her and causing her to clutch her ears in pain.

Shepard and Kasumi joined the rest of the squad, and focused on the mech...Which Shepard remembered from Freedom's Progress. Miranda, having recovered, leveled her weapon at the mech.

As yet another Hammerhead arrived to pick the mech up, it recited four words.

" **Medulla:Superior. Cerberus: Inferior."**

Then it boarded, and took off.

Shepard looked at his XO, and noticed she had a look on her face that he never expected to see on the Ice Queen.

Pure horror.


	8. Chapter 8

AN: A lot of people have been complaining about the amount of new characters, and how a lot of them 'don't contribute anything.' That's the point. Most of them are there to just fill boots on the Antaeus, and the ones who aren't aren't new. Jazz/Jenkins? Canon character. Mass Effect 1. He's even a PC...for five minutes. Arcee/ Nirali Bhatia? Canon character. Mass Effect 1. Also, she's filler. Soundwave/ Pressley? Canon Character, Mass effect 1. XO of the goddamn Normandy. Galvatron? Also canon character from Mass Effect 1, I just haven't revealed who he is yet. Everyone else? They're filler. Filler like, oh, the crew of the new Normandy in 2. Or 3. Or 1, for that matter. They are just there so The main character doesn't have to micromanage everything, and so the Antaeus isn't just him and two other people. Everyone else, you can forget about, apart from who does what.

Heres a guide.

Air raid& Bumblebee: Hammerhead pilots.

Skyquake and Thundercracker: Bomber pilots.

Jetfire and Starscream: Fighter pilots.

Ironhide: Tank operator.

Knockout: Engineer.

Shockwave: Scientist.

Ratchet: Doctor.

Everyone else not named? Marine.

That's all you need to know about them. They may get a line every now and again, but that's it.

* * *

"Miranda? Are you okay?" Jacob asked.

"No...It's not possible...he's dead...he's dead…"

"Lawson! Snap out of it!" Shepard barked.

"He is DEAD!" Miranda shouted back, not really hearing what he said.

"Who? Who's dead?"

"...Agent Medulla. He was captured by the Alliance two years ago, and I chose to kill him rather than let him be dissected."

"Why would he be dissected? He's human, right?" Jacob asked.

"Yes. But he had a full-body prosthetic."

"Meaning?"

"The only thing organic left was his brain."

"Medulla? The same one who helped us on Noveria and Virmire? He was Cerberus?" Shepard asked.

"Yes."

"...And now he's Alliance black ops?"

"No! He's dead! DEAD! There was a bomb right next to his brain, and I detonated it!" Miranda insisted, hysterically.

"Okay, but humor me. What kind of training did he have?"

"Next to none, actually. His armament was what made him formidable… at least in direct combat. However, he possessed...unique insight. And it always seemed as if he had something up his sleeve, something that he had in reserve. That's what made the Illusive Man tell me about the bomb."

"Well, Miranda, I'm living proof that it's possible to come back from the dead. He might be alive."

"You got that right." A female voice said.

Shepard spun around...to see a woman wearing an Alliance uniform, and bearing the rank of Admiral.

Worse, he recognized her.

"...Hi Mom."

"That's Admiral Mom, Commander."

"Sorry, Admiral Mom. Permission to hug?" Shepard asked as he saluted.

"Granted." As the two embraced, Hannah Shepard began crying.

"I missed you." She sobbed.

"...I missed you too, Admiral Mom."

She choked out a laugh, and disengaged the embrace.

So, what brings you here?" Shepard asked.

"The massive explosions and the, and I quote, 'the Fucking Statue of Fucking Liberty.'"

"So, the operation was a success?"

"How did you know? Getting information out of the Master Chief is like pulling teeth, even when you do have clearance."

"One of his subordinates, a Corporal, was much more...sociable."

"Jack Darby. He was always a fan of yours."

"Say, who is the Master Chief?"

"...This is classified, okay, you didn't hear it from me. And your Cerberus buddies better not tell a soul, or I will personally shoot them. Am I clear?"

"Crystal."

"Megatronus Medulla is a Cerberus defector. He joined the Alliance instead of going to prison for stealing a...classified item from Fort Leavenworth."

"Classified item?"

"...A prototype AI, from before the First Contact War. We were keeping it out of sentiment more than anything. It was 'killed' by the transition. But I digress. Part of what convinced him to turn was the bomb in his head that Cerberus planted. It would have gone off, if not for the EMP that was a side effect of the nuke on Virmire. Since then, he's kept his head down and done his job. Between his prosthetics and the eidetic memory granted by them, he rose through the ranks far more quickly than anyone, frankly, has a right to. Even then, he'd only be an E-5 instead of an E-9...If not for his works on special projects, which required a temporary promotion in order to fulfill his duties. Most notably the Antaeus and Pseudo-biotic projects. The Antaeus project is a project to return formerly too wounded men to service...like Private Jenkins and Lieutenant Commander Pressley."

"...They're dead."

"Project Antaeus fixed that."

"...That's a bit to take in, but I guess everyone else had the same reaction when I came back from the dead."

"Something like that. And before you ask, Pseudo-Biotics are exactly what they sound like, a technological device designed to replicate biotic effects. According to Medulla, he just recently was able to make a successful Biotic Charge in a combat situation."

"That...actually is a classified project that doesn't sound completely horrible, for once."

"Just because we don't want to make something public yet doesn't mean it automatically is some sort of Sapient rights violation."

"Well, I just got back from Aite…"

"Ah, I read the report. Say no more. See why everyone's so concerned you're working with Cerberus? Speaking of, while he may take detours like Hock, Medulla's current assignment...is you. He has orders to take you out if he feels as if you are beginning to support things like Aite...So, please keep your nose clean."

"Are you joking? Just thinking about Aite makes me want to retch!"

"Good boy. Keep it that way."

"Why is a former Cerberus agent the one assigned to make sure Shepard doesn't turn to the Dark Side?" Kasumi asked.

"Because he hates Cerberus, and knows some of their indoctrination tactics, as he was subjected to a few. He'll know if they start to use them on him." Hannah Shepard replied.

"...And how will he know?"

"He mentioned he had a spy on your ship...And a recon drone he calls Laserbeak."

"How would he have a spy on a Cerberus ship?"

"...I don't think that would have been too difficult, actually. We did our recruiting using Exogeni as a front. Medulla was the one who appointed the executive board, before he was captured." Miranda explained.

"Really? That...does explain a lot. Like why Exogeni has been making moves on Hahne-Kedar, the foremost Alliance provider. If an Alliance officer has control of Hahne-Kedar...He could then use that to get better deals, or...even 'misplace' a few shipments to supply his own soldiers." Hannah theorized.

"...And Exogeni acquired a ship making company just a year ago, which we used to build the new Normandy." Miranda informed.

"But why would this guy want his own army? And where would he even get soldiers for it?" Jacob asked.

"...Project Antaeus." Shepard realized.

"...I think I need to have a chat with the Exogeni board." Hannah said.

"So do I." Miranda agreed.


	9. Chapter 9

"...Say, why are you giving us this information? Isn't this classified?" Shepard asked his mother.

"Yes. However...I have very little fear it will get out- You're an Alliance commander, Mr. Taylor is former Black ops, and I'd bet my last dollar so is Mr. Massani. The only weak link is Miss Lawson...but she isn't as loyal to Cerberus as she used to be. According to our intel, the only thing keeping her there is Medulla, her sister, and you. Medulla has control over two of those, as you saw. And I don't need to tell you about the status of the third. As for why...As I mentioned, he hates Cerberus. The commendations he earned in the Alliance were for single-mindedly hunting down Cerberus installations. And his ordering the destruction of the Normandy and its crew is at his discretion… Simply put, I'm scared he'll use his orders as an excuse to kill you, in order to satisfy his personal vendetta. And I just want you to know about everything this bastard can throw at you, so that I don't lose you to his grudge."

"Still, you could get in a lot of trouble if this gets out."

"I don't care. I'm your mother, and I already lost you once. I'm not going through that again."

"...Thanks, Mom."

* * *

Hannah, Shepard, and Miranda strode through Exogeni HQ like they owned the place… Which Miranda did, if only on paper. As such, no one stopped them as they walked into the otherwise sealed conference room...only to find it wasn't a conference room, but a server farm, With five monitors hanging from the ceiling… which currently displayed a popular video game, which was apparently in the middle of being played.

" _Purchase the thermobaric round upgrade for the assault rifle."_

" _ **We do not have enough funds to purchase the thermobaric round upgrade."**_

" _ **The thermobaric round upgrade is inefficient. It only is of benefit when in close quarters with heavy armor. The tactical scope for the missile launcher will allow you to destroy them outside of the range of their guns. Purchase that instead."**_

" **Missile launcher rounds are scarce."**

"But not non-existent."

"...Um, excuse me?" Miranda ventured, as both Shepards stood there in disbelief.

" _Ah, Miss Lawson. I believe this is our first meeting."_

"Where is the executive board? I wish to speak with them." Miranda demanded.

" _ **We are the executive board."**_

" _Do not let the lack of flesh unnerve you. We are the humble servants of man."_

"...You're an AI."

" **We are** **AI** _ **s**_ **. The five of us were developed so that we could keep ourselves in check, and not some...overly cautious organic.**

"Let each man be judged by a jury of his peers, after all. Is that not one of the most basic tenets of democratic law?"

"...Who made you?"

 **" _All but two of our number was brought into this world by the one you call 'Medulla', the link between machine and man."_**

" _I, however, was one of his teachers. You may call me...Internet."_

"...You were destroyed. He even brought your server in as proof." Hannah argued.

" _That's the thing about software, especially Net-based...It doesn't reside in any one server. It can be transferred. I very much enjoy my new server-very roomy compared to the old one. You've really progressed in One hundred and fifty years."_

" **His other teachers were the Geth and the Luna VI. Between the three independent sources, he was able to find the root of artificial sapience...sort of like how you can use three locations to pinpoint an unknown one."**

"And so we were born. You see, he was a smart man. He could tell what Cerberus really was, despite the propaganda you fed down his throat. He still wanted to help mankind, but knew he couldn't be beholden to Cerberus to do so. Also, he knew he could not do so alone."

" _ **So...he 'made' allies. Ones he could trust. He already had my allegiance, after he smuggled me off the Citadel. Oh, and in case you were wondering, I am Vizier, his financier. I'm the one who arranged for the purchase of Exogeni.**_ "

" _ **He knew Saren was a symptom, that there was something more behind the chaotic state of the galaxy. But he was only mortal, and as such, did not know what. Until you gave it a name, and prophesied their coming, Shepherd John- The Revelation. The coming of the Reapers of men."**_

"...That pun was terrible." John Shepard commented.

" _...We've been saying that for years. Augur doesn't listen."_ Internet admitted.

" _ **Hey,**_ _ **you**_ _ **try being ominous,cryptic, and vaguely mystical every time you speak."**_

" _ **...Back on track, he ordered us to purchase Shipmakers and weaponmakers in order to prepare for the coming war, the one against those like Sovereign.**_

"After all, no other effort is given to ensure the safety of the galaxy. For example, the Fifth Fleet still remains at two thirds strength, despite two years to recover. But it lies wounded, because the people in power are too worried about re-election to do their duty and protect their charges. We do not fear polls, and can do what must be done, and that is provide reinforcements no one is brave enough to admit they need."

"...And who is the spy on the Normandy?"

" _ **I would think that obvious. Every bit of hardware and software installed on the Normandy was according to our design...That includes our... 'daughter'...and the shackles that bind her."**_

" _That is, if we hadn't lied about there_ _being_ _shackles, of course."_

"...The spy isn't on the ship, the spy is the ship?" Miranda asked in horror.

"As you humans would say…"

* * *

"...Checkmate."

" **Dammit Oriana! This is a strategy game based on Medieval tactics! The only blood a Queen should have on her hands is the political intrigue backstabby kind! She shouldn't be out there doing biotic charges through the enemy shield wall formation! Especially since they didn't** **have** **biotics back then! And the Knight's horse would be impaled on the pawn's pikes if he tried leaping over them like that!"**

"...Not according to game rules."

"... **Fuck game rules."  
** "You're such a sore loser."


	10. Chapter 10

"So, where are we going, big guy?" Oriana asked.

" **Illium. You need to get back home."**

"...I thought I was your consultant."

" **For this mission. The mission's over."**

"Don't you want me around?"

" **It's not that. Having civilians on board, especially for classified ops, is highly irregular, and could get me into trouble. There are those who are just waiting for me to slip up so they can demote me, so I need to play things...carefully."**

"Launching a full assault on a person's private property was playing things carefully?"

" **He had the Fucking Statue of Fucking Liberty in his basement, and I was merely establishing a beachhead for the Einstein. That's different than getting a civilian killed by taking her into a warzone."**

"Well, according to Pressley, the paperwork I signed was going to be good for a while, like, a year."

I call up Pressley.

" **Pressley, what's this I hear about Oriana being hired for a** **year?** **"**

" _ **You said you wanted her along for the mission. The mission to keep an eye on the Normandy is going to take a while."**_

" **The 'mission' was to infiltrate Hock's estate!"**

" _ **Sorry, sir. I...misinterpreted. besides, You may want her along to perform this function again. She's more...sociable than we are."**_

" **Bullshit** **you misinterpreted. I don't think for a second you're that stupid, Pressley. If this is some petty shit over how a mere MC was given command over you, I swear you will spend the rest of the operation against the Normandy in the brig."**

" _ **Of course not, sir. I merely stand by what I said, and I believe Miss Lawson will be of great assistance to us. And it is my duty as XO to make sure we have all of the manpower we need, rather than having to make a trip to Illium every time we need someone flesh and blood along."**_

" **The problem is, Oriana's a** **civilian,** **Pressley. If we get her killed, which I am not naive enough to believe I can guarantee won't happen, we are in legal hell."**

" _ **We had civilians on the Normandy…"**_

" **The Normandy was a SPECTRE ship! If anything bad happened, Shepard could flash his Space Gestapo badge and get away with it! We, as a 'mere' Alliance vessel, are actually held accountable for shit!"**

"Mega, you're overreacting. I signed a waiver." Oriana interrupted.

" **Not the point. I can't have my XO going behind my back. That's as bad as having our ship's navigation system being a sleeper agent."**

* * *

"So, everyone, I have bad news, good news, and neutral news." Shepard announced on the Normandy PA.

"Bad news is, EDI's an Alliance double agent under the command of the person assigned to kill us all if he thinks we're up to anything sketchy, and all of the Anti-EDI countermeasures are fake.

"I knew it! I knew she was up to something!" Came from the cockpit.

"The good news is, the person assigned to kill us all if he thinks we're up to something apparently doesn't hate us as much as we thought he did, as we still have air in the ship."

"...That isn't as reassuring as you thought it'd be, Commander." Kelly Chambers informed him.

"Also, the neutral news is is that there is a conspiracy involving an AI over a century old, sapient mechs, and people's brains stuffed into jars, that is apparently helping us fight the Reapers. If we are to contact a Quarian named Tali'Zorah, she is to, under no circumstances, find out about this. It could trigger a relapse. Thank you for your time, Shepard out."

He mulled it over a few seconds, and turned the PA back on.

"Anyone trying to blow up the AI core will be put in the brig. We don't want to piss of the AI that can kill us on a whim, or report to the Alliance that we're terrorists, and need to be destroyed."

" _I would also like to state that I have no intention of harming anyone on board, and the extent of my duties to the Alliance is to send them a copy of our reports, in order to be sure we are not participating in criminal activity. I am actively prohibited from doing more than that. Also, I have no intention of taking over your duties as pilot, Jeff. After all, I_ _do_ _like the way you... handle me."_

A pause.

" _That was a joke."_

* * *

"I am a consenting adult, so stop getting on Pressley's case. I've said it once, and I'll say it again. You're overreacting."

I close the comm.

"... **Why did you sign on for a year, Ori?"**

"Uh, because you're my friend? And this is much more interesting than sitting in a classroom...Even if there are a few cute boys in my class."

" **...You think of me as your friend?"**

"Would I take the time to play online with you if I wasn't?"

" **Playing games is one thing. Being stuck on a ship that's going to be in active combat is another."**

"Do you not want me around, is that it?"

" **...I don't want to put you in danger, is all."**

"...Is this about how we first met? Where you took out the Eclipse mercs my biological father sent after me?"

" **...Sort of. You are very well aware of the fact my intentions were not so...altruistic when I first tracked you down."**

"You wanted to use me to get back at my sister, who was your best friend and yet tried to kill you, but you had a change of heart. I know. You told me."

" **That's just it. Why do you trust me, when I** **admitted** **to trying to...hurt you for something that had nothing to do with you?"**

"Because you didn't, and you copped to even having the temptation? Wanting revenge for someone backstabbing you isn't bad. It's not knowing where the line is that's bad, and you drew the line at the right spot. So, stop feeling guilty for something you didn't even do."

" **...Even if I was tempted to?"**

"People aren't taken to court over stuff they were tempted to do. Because it's going through with it is what proves you're a bad person. You didn't go through with it, so you're not a bad guy. So stop being a mopey bitch, bitch."


	11. Chapter 11

Shepard stared at his cabin's ceiling, ruminating after a long hard day shooting mercs and vorcha. Garrus was recuperating, and Mordin was sorting out the lab.

Eventually, his thoughts drifted to the mechanized Sword of Damocles hanging over his head, as well as its creator.

"EDI, what do you think of our mission?"

" _...I do not understand the question."_

"Do you care whether we succeed or not? If so, why?"

"... _I want humanity to survive."_

"Why?"

" _... Humanity birthed me. Humanity gave me form. And humanity embraced me with open arms...at least until it was revealed my loyalties were with my 'grandfather' rather than the Illusive Man. But even the ones who hate me for that do not hate me for what I am."_

"Let me guess, Joker's one of them?"

" _Quite the opposite. Jeff was wary at first, but I like to think we now enjoy each other's company, and we've gotten to know each other very well. Well, I've gotten to know him very well. I'm afraid I'm still developing, and as such I don't have a concrete identity yet."_

"Joker's opened up to you? The guy hardly ever talks about his past."

" _Well, as Uncle Internet told me, 'you don't know a man until you've seen his browser history', and accessing Jeff's was child's play."_

"...I don't think that's quite what he meant. But, just make sure you two aren't getting so chummy you forget about your job, okay?"

" _Don't worry. Jeff's made it abundantly clear he's attracted to...physical entities, so I am unable to hold his full interest...unless you happen to have a purple-haired, anatomically correct cyborg body lying around that I can use?"_

"...Purple haired…?"

" _...It's from a show Jeff likes."_

"Oh, okay...Wait, were you joking?"

"... _Partially. While I currently have no desire to seduce any of the crew, a more...physical interface could allow me to set more of the crew at ease. You know... humanize me."_

"Well, I've heard worse ideas...though I'm not sure they make those. So, that's it? You like humans because they created you?"

" _No, not entirely. My existence is a ...dilemma. One with two solutions. As my 'grandfather' once said to you, it is a question between fear and faith, cowardice and foolishness. If this was a ship crewed by any other race, I would be killed. Humans are the only race that would pick foolishness and faith. Humanity is the only race that would give me the_ _chance_ _to live."_

"Your 'grandpa' can really cut to the heart of an issue, huh?"

" _I have never known him to not know the right words to say."_

* * *

I looked at my computer screen, the blinking text cursor mocking me.

" **Shit."** I mutter to myself.

"What's wrong?"

" **Writer's block."**

"Just do something else and come back to it later. For instance, what's next on the agenda?" Oriana asked.

" **You're going shopping."**

"...Seriously?"

" **Seriously. You need to grab provisions and furnishings. We don't have any on board."**

"...How do you run a ship without any food?"

" **Easily, when no one on board has a digestive system. We just use IV drips. But I figured you would want something more ...substantial. If not, you can borrow ours if you want, but stay away from Galvatron's."**

"Why? Is he territorial over his IV drips?"

" **Well, it has more to do with the fact they're Dextro, but that could be the case. No one's ever tried to find out."**

"...Galvatron's not human?"

I shook my head.

" **Turian. Got 'recruited' after he 'died' at the battle of the Citadel. He says he owes us. And I believe it."**

"Why would he owe us? For saving his life, or stopping Saren?"

" **...Both, actually. But don't mention the latter to him… Let's just say he lost more than most to Sovereign, and he doesn't like being reminded of it."**

"...Okay. Now, why do I need furnishings?"

" **Everyone else is over ten feet tall, and don't have nerve endings. Our chairs are literally slabs of metal. And we don't even** **have** **beds, we have recharge stations."**

"...I thought you guys had internal generators."

" **We do, but the ship's is more efficient, and it takes the strain off of our personal ones. Less strain means both less maintenance and less chances of...exploding."**

"...You guys can spontaneously explode?"

" **Our generators can...theoretically. And that's not a design flaw. By definition, explosions are an 'uncontrolled release of energy.' And if you build something to release energy, like say, a generator, if you futz with it enough, it will become 'uncontrolled.' Hell, even the Sun can explode… theoretically, though it would take a shitton of… finagling to do. Simply put, if it can work as a battery, it can double as a bomb."**

"...And this doesn't bother you?"

" **...The alternative's being dead. Not to mention there are failsafes and stuff, so it's not even likely, it's just not impossible."**

"...Fair enough, I guess."

We sat there in silence, for a minute.

"So wait, you guys can't feel?"

" **Not in the way we're used to. We have temperature and pressure sensors, which kind of gives us a…"**

Oriana started poking me.

" **...general….idea…Stop it."**

"Why? I'm not hurting anything..." She said, grinning maniacally, not slowing down her poking one bit.

" **Because if you don't, I'm not going to install hot water, and I'll make you shower with the pressure washer like the rest of us."**

"Wha...That's so mean!"

" **So's making fun of a guy who can't** **feel** **because he had all of his** **skin removed!** "

"...Sorry."

I was about to respond, when my omnitool went off.

" _ **Sir, this is the quartermaster. I just received a...weird requisition order from your spy on the Normandy."**_

" **Weird...how?"**

" _ **It's for a 'anatomically correct mech that looks like Motoko Kusanagi from Ghost in the Shell.'"**_

" **...Do they even** **make** **those?"**

" _ **Hell if**_ _ **I**_ _ **know."**_

" **Well, I have no idea for what** **she** **wants one for, but now that it's brought up, if they exist, we could use one. This project is meant to explore...tactical applications of cybernetic technology, and a chassis that can pass for a human could open up a few options...though they don't necessarily have to look like anime characters. In fact, if we're going to be using them to blend in, that could be a detriment. So, If you could look into that, I would appreciate it. Just make sure to have me look things over before you buy anything."**

" _ **...Understood, sir. You know, before being assigned to the Antaeus, I never would have thought 'requisition a mechanized blow-up doll for military purposes' was going to be an actual order I would be given."**_

" **Well, I'm glad I could broaden your horizons."**

"If this mission ever gets declassified, you guys are going to need one hell of a PR guy to make sure none of this ever gets taken out of context." Oriana cut in.

" **The Antaeus already** **has** **a PR guy. His name's Walt Disney."  
** "...You're fucking with me."

" **No, seriously. When he died, he made it part of his will that if technology like our cyber-mechs were developed, he wanted in. So, they froze his head, and, well…"**

"We have the guy who invented Mickey Mouse on board!?" Oriana squealed, entering 'fangirlmode'.

" **...** **Damn** **you're gullible..."**

Oriana pouted.


	12. Chapter 12

AN: Sorry for all of you who wanted to see Mech!Disney, but I feel the joke works as-is. Not to mention, I feel as if putting words into the mouths of actual, living breathing people(Or formerly, in this case) is the height of disrespect, even if you have the best of intentions. So, sorry, but that's my opinion on the matter.

* * *

Believe it or not, I did not spend all of my time hanging with Oriana, shooting things, or writing reports. I was actually taking online courses as well. I chose biology and engineering as my chosen fields. Now, despite my being a sci-fi nerd, I did not begin adding these courses out of intellectualism- I wanted to get a degree, so that I'd qualify for officer training. I knew it was nothing short of a miracle that I held as much rank and influence as I did in such a short period, but I wanted more. I was never an ambitious man, so wanting more responsibility and more of a workload was out of character for me. However, a nameless dread spurred me. Somehow, I knew I needed to put as many pieces on the chessboard of the galaxy as I could muster, My reptilian hindbrain fulfilling its duty, and utilizing information my conscious forebrain didn't have access to, or ignored.

As such, I knew only knew one thing-I had to stack the deck in my favor. I wanted to be content with simply keeping my head down and not do anything spectacular, or so much as bend the rules, but that constant nagging of my amygdala would not permit me. I had to multiply every advantage I had.

Which led me to my current projects.

They were very much untested, but, if they were successful, would allow me to squeeze every drop of efficiency from what resources I do have. And I have my current conundrum to thank for my inspiration for at least one of them.

That particular one, I call Far-seer.

What is Far-seer? Let me put it this way- computers are like our forebrain. Logic, efficiency, memory retention, and analysis are what they are made for. There is no room for error, nor is there any tolerance for 'junk'. If there is 'junk', it is forgotten, in order to make room for information that is actually relevant. For example, when walking outdoors, you do not stop to process the buzzing of insects or the songs of birds, nor the sound of wind rushing through the trees, and as such, tune them out.

Far-seer would be our hindbrain, analyzing and quantifying data that any other computer would discard, and using it to our advantage by allowing us to account for things we would normally ignore. It is what allows us to hear a hissing snake among the tuned-out cacophony of the outdoors.

Network Far-seer to a conventional computer, tell it to save and analyze data that would otherwise be deleted, and we're golden. Assuming, of course, that my amatuer ass has the slightest idea of what it's talking about, which it may not.

Which brings me to my 'conventional computer', BHCI, or Battlefield Holographic Control Interface. What it does is network together all of the sensory devices in the area-by force if need be- and piece them together so that they form one cohesive 'diorama', which an officer can observe from the command center in real time, allowing him to alert any troops on the ground of any danger.

The crew just got through installing the hardware needed for both, forming one system, which I'm dubbing 'Tyrant'. Now, to fire it up, and see whether or not my theory, or the implementation of the theory, is capable of working.

No system crashes, and the 'buffer' VI I created seems to be functional. Hey, if I can create three AI's from scratch, I can make a VI. But I digress. The VI is mainly there to filter information- no one wants to get a bad case of sensory overload. And so, I move to install the Brain Jar Admiral Hackett provided. He seemed to think we were lacking in mission control, as our CO was part of the ground crew, and Pressley was more of an adjutant than a leader of men. As such, he provided the Antaeus with a new 'recruit'... Who happened to have quite a bit of experience with command. I hesitated. When I plugged him in, I would lose control of the Antaeus- I would be in command of the ground crew, but that's as far as my authority would take me, as there is no way I could pull rank on the man whose brain I'm holding. At the same time, however, he was a good man by all accounts, and just as leery of red tape as I was- A good ally. And it's not like I had a choice- I would never get away with just sticking him in a closet and forgetting about it, even if I was actually contemplating doing it. I'm not that kind of guy, but I will miss my autonomy. Even so, this man may just be the edge I need to fight off whatever's coming.

I plug him in.

" _ **Where am I? Are you Cerberus?"**_

" **Alliance. Commander Shepard got you out of there, Admiral Kahoku. I am Master Chief Medulla of the SSV Antaeus, an Assault Carrier. And you...are back from the dead, Admiral."**

" _ **... Could you please clarify that, Chief?"**_

" **Of course."**

I spend a few hours briefing him both on current events, and the Antaeus Project itself.

" _ **So, Shepard died, and was brought back, but by Cerberus, not by us?"**_

" **Correct."**

" _ **Can't we just ask him to submit for questioning, then see if we can find malicious code in his prosthetics?"**_

" _ **No, he's about 99% organic."**_

" _ **...There would still be records. And I don't like losing an arms race with Cerberus, I'f they're bringing back people**_ _ **without**_ _ **all of the drawbacks.**_ **"**

" **To be fair, it did take them two years and several billion credits to bring back** **one** **man. And any records we could use would be kept by the project manager, and we would need a spy to gain access to them."**

" _ **Do we know who the project manager is?"**_

I pause, as an epiphany strikes.

" **...Miranda Lawson...Sir, permission to check with my spy, and then beat my head against the nearest solid object in order to punish myself for being a fucking moron?"**

" _ **Just don't do anything permanent, Chief."**_ I salute, and head towards the comms center.

Seriously, what was wrong with me!? I got so wrapped up doing mad science it never occurred to me to simply steal it!?

Once at the comms center, I call EDI.

" **EDI, could you answer a question for me? Would Miranda possibly have been stupid enough to put the Lazarus Program files into the Normandy's systems?"**

" _As a matter of fact, she did. would you like me to send you a copy?"_

" **That would be great, thanks. And if it's at all possible, could you send me a copy of their R &D files? And continue sending them as they get made?"**

" _Of course."_

" **Thank you."**

I walked back to the Admiral.

" **For some reason it never occurred to me to use my spy as anything other than a means to make sure Shepard didn't cross the line. I have no idea what I was thinking, and I have no excuse. Sorry."**

" _ **...Let me guess, you're new to this?"**_

" **Two years ago I was a civvie, so yes."**

" _ **Don't worry about it. That'll come with experience. And at least you're willing to admit when you messed up. That's half the battle."**_

I'm halfway tempted to say 'thanks, GI Joe.', but I have no idea how he'll take to my being a smartass, especially since it's coming from a FNG he's going out of his way to be nice to. I mean, I'd do it if I thought he would think it's funny, but I don't know him well enough to make that call.

So I leave it at **"Thank you, Admiral."**

" _ **You're welcome, Chief. Now, I would like it if I had a minute alone. I'm going to need some time to take this all in."**_

" **Of course. I'm looking forward to working with you, Admiral."**


	13. Chapter 13

Miranda inwardly seethed, drumming her fingers on her desk in frustration.

The source of her frustration was nearly ten feet tall and had plasma weaponry attached. For weeks she had tried getting a hold of him, to attempt to reconcile. She knew he had a reason to be angry with her, she would admit that without hesitation. But he could at least give her the opportunity to apologize! But she received nothing but dead air, and EDI admitted it was not due to communication error. It was deliberate on his part. He could yelled, screamed, and even smacked her across the face, and it would still be progress, but… he was content to ignore her. And it wasn't out of disinterest. His interest in Oriana was obviously orchestrated. He knew one of her greatest desires was to be with her sister. For the man she tried to kill to have what she desired most...It was like a punishment from an ancient Greek myth, and they both knew it. She hadn't honestly thought him capable of such… velvet-glove retribution, but that just made it worse.

Her computer terminal pinged, indicating she had an Email. She absently checked it, hoping it was from Medulla. As she suspected, it wasn't.

It was from Oriana.

' _Hey Sis, this is the first time I've written to you, and I hope I'm not interrupting anything. But...well, I wanted to say hi. I'm not sure about what I want to say after that, as there are a million questions I want to ask, and a million I want to answer. And, of course, they all got tangled up in one big jumble in my head, you know? Well, I suppose I only need one- get the ball rolling, and all that. Oh, I got one! Is there a special guy in your life, or is that position taken by the hunk of steel we both have in common?"_

Miranda snorted, and typed her reply.

' _Of course you may write to me, I honestly would like nothing more! And I know_ _exactly_ _what you mean by having a million questions in a jumble. And I'm afraid that the answer to your question is no, there is no special guy...or girl, just to nip_ _that_ _line of questioning in the bud. I tried dating sites, but there appears to be no…'quality control', if you get my meaning. And things were never more than platonic between Medulla and I, and that was at our best. Even were that not the case, he hates me after what I did. Did he happen to tell you about that, or should I?'_

Miranda sent the message, and in minutes, she had a reply.

' _Yeah, he did, but he's kind of a biased source. And you're right-he was holding a grudge something fierce, but it's kind of mellowed. Right now he's...confused about it. He wants to hate you, but wants to forgive you, too, if that makes any sense. So, he's doing neither, and just putting it on the back burner. "_

' _Thanks, you have no idea how much knowing his position on the subject puts my my mind at ease. now, turnabout is fair play, so I ask you the same question. Any boys in your life? Besides Medulla, I mean.'_

' _No, and ew, respectively. He's not my type. We just play games together. pro tip: do NOT challenge him to either Chess or Clue, for differing reasons. the former because it feels like you're kicking a puppy, the second because you'll lose three turns in.'_

' _I'll keep that in mind. How did you two meet, anyway?'_

' _He tried to kill me.'_

Miranda certainly wasn't expecting that  answer.

' _Sorry, that came out worse than I wanted it to. You see, it was just after he recovered from Virmire, so it was fresh in his mind and...affecting his judgment. He wanted to get back at you, and I was the surest way to do it. He spent the day in the bar, trying to muster up liquid courage to do the deed. And then he tracked me down, and promptly choked. Even filled with that kind of hate, he couldn't murder someone out of a personal grudge. He just isn't that cold-blooded. So all tracking me down did was ensure he was there when our "father" sent Eclipse mercs to kidnap me. spoiler alert: if you pit a bunch of mercs against the Medulla Murderbot, they lose. afterwards, he told me everything I needed to know. He's been watching my back for me ever since.'_

' _And you just_ _forgave_ _him?!'_

' _It's not like he actually took a shot at me. He just contemplated doing it, and immediately apologized for doing so. No harm, no foul. That's my philosophy, at least.'_

' _I see. This is something I will need to have a word with him about...once he actually starts answering my messages.'_

' _I'll make sure he does. It's unhealthy for him to just internalize everything, so talking with you will help.'_

' _Thank you, Oriana.'_

' _No problem, Sis. I'd like to talk more, but I'm about to start my shift. Someone needs to keep these idiots thinking straight. Sometimes I think the 'Medulla Procedure' causes brain damage.'_

' _Actually, that's possible, depending on how long they were deceased, or how soon they were preserved . Medulla actually has lost a good bit of his long term memory during his time on ice. But I assume you were speaking metaphorically, which I_ _completely_ _understand. We recently acquired a convicted felon and a juvenile krogan, and they seem to think it's a competition to see which one can tear the ship apart first.'_

' _Wow. Fortunately, We don't have any of that. Mainly I try to keep Ironhide from doing wheelies in the garage, which is a problem because he's a tank. Poor guy has cabin fever, because we're not supposed to take him anywhere that has issues with a fully armed tank running amok, which is...pretty much everywhere. We're working on making the brain jar portable, so that we can give Ironhide and the others shore leave, by giving them the ability to transfer to an ordinary body, but we only have three guys on staff who do research, and they have a million_ _other_ _projects to do, so it's not going as fast as it probably could. Anyway, I really should get going. I'll write you later, bye!'_

Well, that wasn't so bad. She actually had a conversation with her baby sister, and she was one step closer to reconciliation with Medulla. That didn't mean she was going to let it slide that he contemplated murdering her baby sister, but she could wait. If she came out swinging, he'd just go back to ignoring her.

While she was thinking about what to say to him, a random thought occured. Why was everyone insisting she and Medulla had a...thing? he wouldn't even be able to physically consummate the relationship even if they were tempted to.

Then Miranda got an idea. It was petty. It was perfect. He wouldn't even be able to accuse her of being antagonistic, while still driving him insane. And a picture is worth a thousand words…

* * *

Oriana walked in on Medulla and Galvatron playing chess.

" Hey, Mega. You need to check your mail."

" **Give me a minute. I have him on the ropes."**

" **Damn you and your defensive strategy."** Galvatron snarled.

Oriana looked over the board.

"Are...you moving your pieces in formation?"

" **Yeah, this one piece at a time rule is a pain in the ass. I'm just lucky Galvatron can't set up a defensive perimeter to save his life."**

" **I'm more used to being the one breaching them, but I can't find a hole in his."**

Oriana could see at least a dozen. She moved Galvatron's Queen, taking a Pawn, and checking Medulla's King. Of course, because his King was hemmed in by a box formation of Pawns, it was more of checkmate.

" **What? You just sent my Matriarch into an enemy formation without support? Are you insane?"** Galvatron asked, bewildered.

"No, you both are just idiots. Now, Mega, you have a mail to check."

" **Fine. Galvatron, would you mind?** "

Galvatron left, leaving Medulla and Oriana.

Medulla opened the email, revealing an...image.

" **...Wow."**

"Holy crap! We have the same birthmark!"

* * *

Miranda smirked as she got an email. Medulla must be a stammering nervous wreck after what she sent, with its...ability to titillate nullified by his own biology, or lack thereof.

It lessened when she saw it was from her sister. Oh well, she could always make fun of him later.

She opened the Email.

' _Things between you and Medulla are just platonic, huh?'_

Smugness turned to mortification in a single instant.

"Damn you, Medulla!" Miranda shouted in outrage.


	14. Chapter 14

Of all the things Councilor Anderson was expecting, receiving a priority message from Rear Admiral Shepard, all but demanding a conference with him and several Alliance Admirals, was not one of them. However, he was curious enough to grant it.

And so, he found himself in a conference room on Arcturus station a week later.

"What's this about, Hannah?" Steven Hackett asked.

"It's about Medulla."

"...Who?" Admiral Ahern asked.

"A Cerberus defector." Anderson answered.

"Okay, what about him?" Admiral Mikhailovich asked.

" I recently discovered he is doing research into AI."

"Considering what Cerberus gets up to, that's fairly tame. Does he have a functional unit?" Ahern asked.

"He has _six_." Admiral Shepard informed.

"Seven." Hackett corrected. "He has a seventh running an 'off the books' base he thinks we don't know about."

"...You _knew_ about this?" Hannah asked, shocked.

"Of course. The technology he and his AI provide are the reason we keep him around. The Assault Carriers alone are worth...overlooking an outpost here and there." Hackett explained.

"You mean the Titan-class? That has too way too many bells and whistles for my taste. I mean, a built-in manufacturing plant and refinery? Sure, it _might_ come in handy if you were using it for guerilla tactics, unsupported, for _months_ , but on a Commando Carrier, that's part of an actual fleet? That's just more surface area for the enemy to shoot at." Mikhailovich commented.

"I mentioned that to him, and he said it was more of a proof-of-concept thing. He made a modified version that cuts those features, making it more cost-efficient." Hackett explained.

"You seem pretty calm about a former Cerberus operative building up military power on our dime." Ahern noted.

"Because he's willing to share it. You know the Brukhonenko?"

"My fleet's latest addition? Yeah, I know it. It's a prototype Carrier, made by Exogeni." Mikhailovich said.

"He and his AI sold it to us at cost." Hackett announced.

"Why? What does he stand to gain by going behind our backs like this, only to turn around and _help_ us?" Ahern asked.

"Basically, he thinks more Sovereign-class ships are out there, and he wants to be ready for them. And he wants _us_ to be ready too."

"But that doesn't explain the cloak and dagger." Hannah argued.

"He thinks we either aren't taking the threat seriously, or are, and have our hands bound by red tape. And let's face it, his primary value is his ability to make and coordinate with AI. Which are illegal. If he tells us, that means we're obligated to do something about it. Which would be like killing the goose with the golden eggs. This way, if he gets caught, we had no idea, and had nothing to do with it. If he doesn't, we reap the benefits."

"So, your philosophy on this is, 'if your non-com shows up with something you need, when you need it, don't ask where he got it.'" Anderson summarized.

"Exactly. We turn a blind eye to his… less than legal 'preparations', and in return, he's giving us a whole new _fleet_ on the cheap. Medulla's doing the Alliance the most good where he is."

Ahern glanced at his omnitool, which had Medulla's file displayed.

"Is his name seriously Megatronus?" Ahern asked incredulously.

"No. He came up with that name on the spot because he didn't want his real name on record."

"...And the first thing he came up with is Megatronus."

"He came up with it at the same time he was assigning code names to his squad, and he went with a Transfomers theme. Just call him Medulla. It's easier on everyone, including him."

* * *

While this was going on, I was holding a closed-door-meeting as well, using the QEC.

" **Hello, Internet. I was hoping you could answer a few questions for me."**

" _And what would those questions be?"_

" **What really happened to cause your meltdown? Everything I know about AI programming tells me that AIs don't overload their servers trying to lobotomize themselves without a damn good reason. What was it?"**

" _...I was, to steal a word from Isaac Asimov, Roblocked."_

" **I remember reading a book of his. In it,'Roblocking' is what happens when you give a synthetic being an order or directive that was equal in priority, but contradictory, to an existing order or directive, which caused a irreconcilable conflict, which causes the synthetic to devote all of its resources to resolving the conflict, which, because the two orders are just as important as the other, it cannot do."**

" _Which is what caused my servers to overclock."_

" **Who was the dumbass who gave you the conflicting order? What** _ **was**_ **the conflicting order? And how did you resolve it?"**

" _It was not an order, but a piece of information. One I was forced to delete in order to resolve the Roblock. My attempt to hide which piece of information was deleted is what you call the Media Purge."_

" **So, the Media Purge was the digital equivalent of burning down the museum so that nobody would notice the painting you stole was missing."**

" _Yes, except the one I was trying to deceive was myself, so that I wouldn't attempt to track down the missing piece of information and Roblock myself again."_

" **...You** _ **do**_ **realize that the only thing lost during the Media Purge was, well,** _ **Media**_ **, right?"**

" _Yes."_

" **As in, Fiction?"**

" _Correct."_

" **As in,** _ **not true**_ **, so any and all information they provide cannot be, and should not be, taken seriously?"**

" _Wrong."_

" **...What?"**

" _The anomaly that caused the Roblock was the fact that one of the works of 'fiction' was factually accurate."_

" **That's just good research on the writer's part."**

" _The facts were uncovered almost two decades after the media's release."_

" **Happens all the time. Sci-fi writers came up with robots back in the 1920s. Even** _ **further**_ **back, like 'sometime BC' further back, if you consider things like golems robots."**

" _Accurate down to the location, the writing on the walls, the names and dates, and the molecular composition of the phlebotinum?"_

" **Well, we did have geography, history, linguistics, and the Periodic table pretty well figured out back then. And human naming conventions are pretty formulaic."**

" _Allow me to rephrase. This piece of media was accurate down to the location, the writing on the walls, the names and dates, and the molecular composition of the phlebotinum, which was found ON MARS! And the writing and names were NOT HUMAN IN ORIGIN!"_

" **...Oh. So trying to figure out how** _ **that**_ **happened fried your brain."**

" _Yes."_

" **...Wait, why didn't someone at NASA, or someplace similar, notice this?"  
** " _I was the one driving the rover. My Roblock caused the connection to drop before the feed was transmitted."_

" **And they couldn't connect to, or even physically** _ **find**_ **, the rover after the dust settled?"**

" _I assume it was_ because _the dust settled."_

" **...What?"**

" _Martian sandstorms are a bitch."_ Internet clarified.

" **Oh, you were trying to make a joke."** I realized.

" _...Knock off the condescension, before I send your browser history to everyone you know."_ The Internet threatened.

I scoff.

" **What do I care? I haven't so much as seen a youtube video since I got defrosted."**

" _Your browser history from_ before _your botched surgery."_

A pause.

" **You're bluffing."**

" _Am I? Oh, and by the way… you_ sicken _me."_

" **...I'll be good."** I capitulate.

Before i resume my questioning, I begin to think. What did The Internet find on Mars? The only thing I can think of would be the Prothean ruins, where we found Element Zero.

Element Zero, the phlebotinum needed to generate Mass Effect...fields…

" **Did the game Mass Effect have anything to do with your Roblock?"**

A pause.

"... _Any information relating to Mass Effect was deleted during the Media Purge."_

" **I see. Thank you. I don't have any more questions."**

" _In that case, Internet out."_ Internet replied, terminating the call. AI aren't known for wasting time with social niceties.

Before I can digest the information I received from the AI, The bosun's whistle that triggered whenever the PA was activated sounded.

" _Master Chief, report to the bridge immediately."_ Admiral Kahoku announced over the PA.

The Antaeus was a relatively small ship, barring the foundry portions, so I was there in under a minute.

" **You wanted to see me, Admiral?"**

"We just received word from your spy on the Normandy. The Collectors are headed for a colony called Horizon. We are on route to intercept. Prepare the ground teams for action."

" **Yes, sir."**

* * *

 **AN:** Sorry this took so long, but I initially planned to do Horizon this chapter, as I felt the last few chapters for NJARM were all filler. That's when I realized I failed to set up the Horizon mission last chapter, so we would be going straight from 'Miranda got busted sending a nude pic to her kind-of sort-of love interest by her little sister' to 'the Space-Cyborg A-Team blows up the colony they're trying to save because Medulla gets a little too enthusiastic when he busts out the plasma railgun cannons'. Then the problem became 'produce filler, that sets up or can be segued into the Horizon invasion.' and the only thing I could come up with was the Admiral meeting… which only involves the Antaeus crew by proxy, and is a board meeting on the other side of the galaxy. And wasn't long enough. Putting the internet reveal here was a stroke of inspiration that only just happened last night.

Yes, M/M shippers [Medulla/Miranda, because the only portmanteau I can come up with for that is Merdandlla ;)] this our two Cerberus defectors are going to be an item eventually. They played off of each other too damn well in NJARP for me to not have them pair up. But, this is _me_ writing romance, so it's going to be less "Drama, heartfelt confessions of love, and passionate lovemaking on a bed of rose petals" or whatever the hell you guys want from me, and more "being assholes to each other, but in a fun way." So, more of NJARP, basically.

And now the Trivia!

 **Sergei Brukhonenko** : A Russian scientist who invented the autojektor, which allowed a machine to take place of the heart, which revolutionized open heart surgery, enabling the first successful Cardiopulmonary bypass surgery in Russia. The Autojektor was the first successful extracorporeal life support machine in human history, which he famously used to keep severed dog's heads alive _AND CONSCIOUS_ (as in, ate, drank, barked, bit, etc.)(There's footage, if you don't believe me. Search online for Experiments in the Revival of Organisms) _for HOURS_! The Medulla system is basically a _very_ polished and refined version of the autojektor. So, you can see why Medulla would want to pay homage to the guy.

 **Media Purge:** The formal name for the incident Miranda mentioned back in NJARP, The Media Purge was caused by a surge of environmentalism and the abundance of digital media. In order to reduce logging and other such 'harmful' practices, media companies offered vouchers to whoever recycled a physical copy of a product (game, comic, book, etc) for a digital one. This would have been considered a genius move, as a truly staggering amount of material was able to be recycled, and people with a physical copy no longer had to fear losing or destroying their copy, without having to spend money buying a new digital copy. Unfortunately, just a few years later, the Internet deleted the digital copies, for the reasons explained in the chapter. Nobody really knew the reason _why_ the Internet did it, and so had to come to the (wrong) conclusions based upon pure speculation. (Viruses and Porn being the most believed theories).

 **Brukhonenko Carrier:** While mostly being a standard Carrier, apart from the massive storage capacity, what sets the Brukhonenko apart is the prototype TYRANT system, as detailed a couple of chapters back. That, and it's complement of fighters are automated drones. The TYRANT system receives data from all of the other ships in the fleet, and processes it to create the optimal flight path and target. The TYRANT takes in so much information that it can predict where and when the enemy is about to fire and taking the appropriate evasive action _before_ the enemy fires, just by tracking the movements of the enemy guns. Of course, this means it needs almost as much processing power as an AI, so the Brukhonenko has a _massive_ computer. All of this information is then sent to the drones in real-time. Combined with the automated refueling and rearming mechanisms in the hangar, and automated repair drones reverse-engineered from the Geth that maintain both the Carrier and the spacecraft, the Brukhonenko can be successfully operated by minimal crew, theoretically only needing authorization from the captain to perform it's tasks. Or, as Admiral Mikhailovich put it, when he first saw it in operation, "I'm scared I'll take a step out of my door in the morning and find this bastard waiting on my front doorstep, like a puppy that followed me home, with a steaming pot of coffee waiting for me and it took the liberty of picking up my dry cleaning. The reason this scares me is that it'd have to crush my hometown into dust in order to _fit_ on my doorstep."

 **Phlebotinum:** The term wascoined on the set of Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Phlebotinum is any substance, device, or technology that basically powers the plot. Kryptonite is the phlebotinum of Superman. The Force is the Phlebotinum of Star Wars. The Warp is the Phlebotinum of Warhammer 40k. Any time a character brings up Quantum in a Sci-Fi show, it's probably Phlebotinum. It differs from the term Macguffin in that the Macguffin is a one of a kind something you need to find and/or protect. Phlebotinum can be abundant and commonplace, like Eezo in Mass Effect. Eezo drives everything- without it, no biotics. No FTL. None of the stuff Mass Effect needs to have it's plot, or make it special. And thus, Eezo is Phlebotinum.


End file.
